Things I've Learnt from Watching My Favourite Doctor Who Stories: Part 31 - The Horns of Nimon

 31: The Horns of Nimon

How many Nimons make three? 

After my last entry, it's typical; you wait ages for a story with the two Doctors and then two come along at once! 

I make no apologies for including this in my list of 60 favourite stories, even when there are others some people would consider far more worthy, that I've not included. For some fans, this is regarded as the nadir of Doctor Who. Nadir is one of those pretentious words that only Doctor Who fans use (see also Cringe-inducing, Quibble, Elfin and Jabolite) I was one told by an older fan he pitied me because I preferred this to a certain Pertwee story. Well he's entitled to his own opinion but he's not entitled to tell me mine. 

I adore the Horns of Nimon, and not ironically either. I don't snigger at the cheap sets, rather I admire the intelligence that came up with the idea of a maze that changes it's corridors. I don't point and laugh at the Nimon Costumes, I remember the Nimon costume that towered over me at the Madam Tussauds exhibition in 1980 with a loud menacing growl! And I don't roll my eyes at Graham Crowden hamming it up, I marvel at the audacity of such a wonderful performance that I actually found a bit scary as a kid! So there.

Steven Moffat once said classic Doctor Who didn't just look cheap, it was cheap! High inflation and budget cuts at the end of the 1970s meant this was all done in the Studios at TV centre including the model shots which includes quite an impressive-looking spaceship and I have a vivid memory of the Doctor, Romana and K9 walking down the forcefield bridge between the TARDIS and that ship. (There is a brief bit of film for the Power Complex to be blown up which looks impressive to be fair!) The sets are no better or worse than anything in the previous two seasons and with June Hudson as your costume designer, no one looks dull! 

But The Horns of Nimon was made to laugh with, not at. There's a sparkling script by Anthony Read (possibly based on the the legend of the Minotaur, I'm not sure, it's all very subtle) edited by Douglas Adams and helped by Tom Baker and the rest of the cast no doubt. Tom is having a whale of time. After the experience of almost catching Psittacosis with the difficult Alan Bromly on Nightmare of Eden, Baker seems to find a friend in newcomer Kenny McBain (yes the same one who brought Inspector Morse to our screens!) McBain doesn't appear to mind Baker's excesses such as giving K9 the kiss of life! Some say he couldn't stand up to Tom Baker but come on, this is the guy who produced Grange Hill for two years! Given a cast of teenagers or Tom Baker to work with, I know which I would find more scary! 

Fortunately, while the Tomfoolery is in full swing, Lalla Ward takes up the reins and shows us that a female Doctor can work, a few years before Jodie Whittaker was even born! Resplendent in her red coat and gloves, Lalla gives a marvellous performance, bellowing lines such as "Despicable worm!" at the Co-Pilot and "You brought it on yourself!" when Soldeed accuses her of ruining his dreams of conquest. She's absolutely marvellous! And that face she pulls at the end is unbelievably cute! 

I've already mentioned Graham Crowden (a man who makes Brian Blessed seem shy and retiring) but I think this is a great performance, showing Soldeed's gradual slide into madness. He even laughs in his death scene (because he thought it was a rehearsal!) which you could is in character for someone who's clearly as nutty as a squirrels diet. 

Simon Gipps-Kebt and Janet Ellis as Seth and Teka are quite delightful in thankless roles as hero and heroine in distress. No offence to Matthew Waterhouse, but Gipps-Kent would have made a great Adric. They're basically Hansel and Gretel in yellow pyjamas. If this was a pantomime (oh no it isn't!) they'd probably have to sing "A whole new world" halfway through. 

And of course no review of The Horns of Nimon is complete without the trouser-splittingly wonderful Malcolm Terris, who despite being a co-pilot on a knackered spaceship in the future, is clearly playing one of those middle aged executives who can't stand his boss, doesn't listen reason and tries to blame everyone else for his failure. (He's basically any Tory Cabinet minister from the last 5 years!) 

The Writer's of the Doctor Who Discontinuity Guide called this "rather wonderful with some friends and a bottle of wine" For some fans, 1979 was more of a table wine than a vintage year. Frankly, I will gladly enjoy a glass or two of this particular vintage! 

Next Time: You are not Alone...